Hardwired Read online

  “How much Tesla stock do you own?” I asked as the city blocks sped past us.

  “I got in on the second round of funding, so quite a bit.”

  “Of course you did,” I mumbled.

  Blake made his way into the city in record time and with little regard for pedestrians and traffic laws, but somehow I still felt safe and relieved to have the campus in the rearview. We rode the rest of the way in silence until Blake pulled into a reserved parking space across from the clock tower.

  The Black Rose was an Irish pub in the heart of Boston, a few steps away from the famous Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market. Inside, a dark wood bar lined one end of the restaurant and coats of arms from the motherland covered the walls. Blake and I settled into a quiet corner of the restaurant where we could watch the people outside going about their day, including tourists, bankers, and men driving horse-drawn carriages.

  The cute young waitress was cheery and asked for our order with an Irish lilt that made me think of my favorite professor who was also leaving in a few short weeks.

  “Two Irish breakfasts and two Guinnesses,” Blake said, handing her our menus and promptly returning his attention back to me.

  “Do you always order for other people?”

  “I didn’t want you to battle with yourself over ordering a pint so early in the day.”

  He leaned in, the motion showcasing his biceps that were peeking out of the sleeves of his T-shirt that featured the Initech logo from Office Space. He had no business looking so unprofessional on a workday.

  “Do you want to tell me why you were crying a minute ago?”

  I shook my head, emotionally drained and unprepared to be with Blake at this moment in time. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

  Blake took my hand as I reached for my purse. “Hey, I’m sorry.”

  I closed my eyes, wanting desperately to be falling apart somewhere where Blake wasn’t in the audience.

  “Stay,” he said softly.

  I sat back, letting my hand stay in his, my anger melting away. His touch had a calming effect that I both resented and was beginning to appreciate.

  “Why did you want to see me?”

  “Well, for one, you didn’t give me a chance to say goodbye. Do you always run off like that?”

  “I didn’t think you’d care,” I said, embarrassed about the whole affair, even though I’d thought of almost nothing else since I left his suite two days ago. “Anyway, I had an early flight home.”

  “Have you heard from Max?”

  I took a deep breath, relieved to be talking business again. “Yes, we’re meeting next week.”

  “How’s the housing hunt going?”

  I rolled my eyes and groaned. “Now that Alli is officially moving to New York, I suppose it just got simpler.”

  “That doesn’t sound like good news.”

  “Yeah, I’ll have to start dressing myself again, which will be tough,” I joked.

  I wasn’t lying, but obviously her fashion sense wouldn’t be the only thing I’d miss. Alli was my best friend, my confidante, my wing-woman. I still couldn’t believe my roomy wouldn’t be my roomy anymore. We’d only be an hour’s flight away, but I held onto an irrational fear that our lives would begin moving in different directions that would eventually take their toll on the friendship we’d worked so hard to build. Only time would tell.

  “I have a good broker.” Blake fished a business card out of his wallet and handed it to me. Fiona Landon, Licensed Real Estate Broker.

  “If she’s related to you, I doubt she’d have anything in my price range.”

  “She’s my little sister, and you never know. She’s known for digging up good finds. Just tell her I sent you.”

  I sighed. “I told you about my situation to make conversation. It wasn’t a cry for help. I’m perfectly capable of figuring this out on my own.”

  “I know you are,” he said quietly, rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles. “Give her a call,” he urged.

  I slipped from his grasp and stuffed the card into my purse, knowing I’d call her for the simple reason that Blake wanted me to and he wouldn’t let it go until I did.

  The waitress brought our breakfast, which was delicious and fattening, two requirements for comfort food that I thoroughly appreciated at the moment. Washing it down with a few sips of Guinness wasn’t too bad either. Blake and I made small talk and chatted about sports, one topic any two Bostonians could agree on. When I wasn’t in emotional turmoil and when he wasn’t throwing me headfirst onto a professional roller coaster, I did enjoy his company. Little by little, he coaxed me out of my grim mood.

  Outside the sun warmed the cobblestone streets as we walked back to the car. After all these years, Boston still dazzled me. The streets had history and its people had a kind of character that always made it feel like home. It was impossible to live here and not feel a passion and possessiveness about it.

  Blake laced his fingers into mine, and my heart beat a little faster.

  “Where to now?” he asked.

  I wanted to believe the question was innocent, but I saw the asking in his eyes. I wouldn’t have minded answering with Back to your place, but I wasn’t about to make a habit of sleeping with Blake whenever he gave me that look.

  I looked down, trying to ignore how much I still wanted to be with him. “I should head back home. I have a lot of work to do,” I said, hoping he’d believe me.

  He regarded me silently for a moment. “Fair enough. Let me give you a ride.”

  I agreed and Blake led us back to the car.

  On the way home, Blake’s phone rang. A casual photo of a beautiful brunette showed up on the LCD panel next to the name Sophia. He ignored the call and stared straight ahead at the road, showing no emotion. I had no right to ask who she was. We were hardly in a relationship, and the idea that someone as rich and gorgeous as Blake wouldn’t be playing the field was pretty unrealistic. Still, the thought of other women in his life stung me.

  We pulled up to the house, and Blake circled the car to let me out. Walking up the steps up to the entrance, I fumbled with my keys. I turned to say goodbye, and Blake pulled me close. The breath rushed out of me.

  “You owe me a goodnight kiss, Miss Hathaway.”

  Before I could respond, he covered my mouth with his own. I melted into the kiss and the warmth of his body. Mercy, his lips. The stress of the morning became a distant memory, replaced with a hunger that neither of us was in a position to satisfy at the moment.

  “Invite me up.”

  I pulled back breathless and shook my head.

  “Then come home with me.” His voice was raw.

  Somewhere in the distance, I started psychoanalyzing everything, pulling myself out of the moment.

  “I can’t.”

  Technically, I could. In fact, I wanted nothing more than a repeat of my night in Blake’s Vegas pad, but I had no idea what I might be getting myself into. A string of hookups? Standing in line with any number of other women who caught his eye? Beyond that, I needed to focus on work now more than ever. Getting screwed to oblivion by Blake on a regular basis probably wasn’t going to help me in that department.

  “Dinner, then.”

  “No,” I insisted. “Besides, you were hardly the perfect gentlemen last time.”

  “Wasn’t I? As I recall, you were the one who asked for the tour of the bedrooms.”

  He pressed his growing erection against me, eliciting a whimper. I tried to care that we were in plain view of anyone passing by, but I worried more that I was slipping further away from myself and deeper into a dangerous attraction that already had its hooks in me.

  “Blake, seriously, Vegas was… really great.” I paused, desperately trying to pull myself together. “I’m just not in a good place for this—whatever this is with us.”

  I kissed him gently, breathing him in one last time before slipping from his grasp. He released me, but by the wanting in his eyes, I could tell he wasn’t happy about
it.

  “Goodbye, Blake.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  With only a few days left before the dorms closed, I was running short on time and options to find a new place to live. I couldn’t believe how far behind I’d fallen with this, but life was throwing me curve balls lately so I decided to reach out to Blake’s sister and hope for some quick results.

  Fiona Landon was stunning. Her light brown hair curled under into a stylish simple bob. Young, professional, and elegant, she was dressed in a navy blue polka dot dress when we met to begin the quest for my first apartment.

  The first few places she showed me were in line with what I expected—on budget, smallish, and fair location, but a decent hike to any public transportation. I quickly realized that I’d either have to make some concessions or come up with a more realistic budget.

  We stopped for a quick lunch at a little deli near the public gardens to regroup.

  After making some calls to set up a last minute showing, Fiona joined me at the table. “So how do you know Blake?”

  I choked a little on my lemonade. God, if she only knew.

  “I’m in talks with Angelcom to invest in my business.”

  “Oh wow, that’s great. I hope it works out.”

  “Me too.”

  “Blake gets so involved in his investments. I’ve seen some of those companies really take off.”

  I nodded and spared her the fact that he had “passed” on me. Well, he’d passed on the business anyway. He was pursuing me physically with a single-minded determination that one might expect from a ruthless businessman.

  “What about you? Do you do this full-time?”

  “Blake has several real estate holdings, so I mostly stay busy managing those, but I dabble with other listings in town.”

  “I guess it’s good to keep it in the family.”

  “Definitely. Blake keeps us busy with all his projects.”

  “I met Heath recently too actually,” I said, conveniently leaving out the details of our Las Vegas rendezvous.

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “He’s a character,” I continued, hoping to glean a little bit more about her charismatic brother and whatever issues Blake had with him, if only for Alli’s sake.

  “You could say that. I have no idea how Blake keeps up with him.” She looked past me, her face carefully void of emotion. “Do you have any siblings?”

  “No, it’s just me.” For years it had literally been just me. I often imagined what life might be like with a sibling or two. Someone to share the emotional burden with after my mother died or to make light of our hardships with and carry on together. The closest person to know what I’d been through was Elliott, but like me, he’d moved on.

  Fiona and I finished our lunch and she drove us to the last apartment of the day, which she promised would be more in line with what I was looking for. She pulled in front of a picturesque brownstone on Commonwealth Ave. The street was tree-lined from one end to the other, with walking paths and beautifully manicured commons separating the two sides of the street. The location was address to many of the who’s who of the city, and while I enjoyed the change of scenery from the lackluster places I’d seen so far, I worried how far out of the budget this would fall.

  Nonetheless, I followed her up a flight of stairs. We entered a light and spacious two-bedroom apartment.

  “Wow.”

  “This just came onto the market,” Fiona said.

  The appliances were new, the walls had a fresh coat of paint, and the dark wood floors were impeccable.

  “This is perfect, Fiona, but I doubt I could afford something this nice.”

  “The owner is listing it at the right price for the right renter. It’s above your budget, but it’s such a great find, I had to show you.” She handed me the listing sheet with the asking rent, a figure over budget, but well worth the extra features it offered.

  I blew out a slow breath and did some mental math.

  “You could always pick up a roommate with the extra room. It won’t stay listed long, Erica, so if you think you might want it, I can make a call right now.”

  I’d have bay windows, a bathtub, and a second room to do with what I wanted. I was flying by the seat of my pants lately, so why stop now?

  “Where do I sign?”

  ***

  I stuffed the last of my clothes into a black trash bag and tossed it next to the others. Alli and I had barely spoken all day except to negotiate who would claim joint purchases. It felt strangely like a breakup, and in much the same way wreaked havoc on my already frayed nerves. Both finished, we each settled on the bare dorm mattresses, the springs squeaking below us. I wouldn’t miss these.

  “Have you heard from Heath?” I asked, anxious to break the silence and the tension between us.

  She raised her eyebrows slightly and nodded. Great, I was getting the silent treatment.

  “And?”

  “And what?” she snapped. “It’s not like you care, Erica.”

  “Listen, I’m sorry. You caught me at a bad time, and I just—” A tear slid down my face and I immediately wiped it away. “I wish you didn’t have to go, but I want you to know that I understand why you do. I—”

  She crossed the distance between us and hugged me hard.

  “I want you to be happy, and I know you will be,” I whispered.

  She pulled away and held my face in her hands. “You’re my best friend, Erica. A couple hundred miles isn’t going to change that. And don’t think for a minute that you can’t rock this business without me. This is your baby. There isn’t anything holding you back now.”

  “You make it sound like it’s going to be so easy.”

  “You’ve made this whole thing look easy from day one. I have no idea how we pulled it off, but I know we couldn’t have without you leading the way.”

  I wanted to believe her, but now that her leaving was a reality, the weight of my responsibilities hit me hard. Thankfully I had a lot more time to manage them, but I started to question my decision to stay in Boston when it seemed like everyone who mattered to me was leaving.

  Early the next day, Fiona met me at the door looking as polished as she had before in a colorful sundress.

  “Congrats!” She smiled and gave me a quick hug.

  “Thank you for finding me such an amazing place.”

  “Anytime.”

  When she glanced over at the SUV that had delivered me, her smile faded a bit. Brad stepped out and joined me on the sidewalk in front of the building. Brad was a friend of a friend. I didn’t know him really well, but he was nice enough and clearly he spent some time in the gym, so I didn’t feel too bad asking him to move my futon up a flight of stairs to the new place.

  He did so with expert grace, leaving the immaculate walls of the stairwell unscathed. Fiona seemed nervous when she handed me the keys to open the door. After I did, Brad passed through the threshold toward the room that would be my bedroom. Before I could follow him in, someone came down the stairs.

  Oh, a neighbor! I thought excitedly, until Blake Fucking Landon turned the corner and faced me with a heart-melting smile.

  “What are you doing here?” The tone of my voice revealed more panic than I wanted it to. I’d just gone through three regretful days believing I’d be rid of him for good, while simultaneously questioning why I had permanently sworn off the best sex of my life.

  “I live here.”

  I shifted my glare to Fiona who visibly cringed, revealing that she was in on this the entire time.

  “Sorry,” she mouthed before turning to leave us.

  “You live here.” It wasn’t a question, but more of a confirmation of the worst-case scenario.

  “Well, actually I own the building, but yeah, I live here too.”

  I crossed my arms and my foot started tapping. How could I best articulate the absolute rage I felt toward this excruciatingly sexy man who could not keep himself from interfering with my affairs?

  “You
look angry. What can I do?”

  He had the decency to look a little tentative, which was wise because I was considering physical violence to make my point. Words were wasted on him.

  “For starters, you can stop meddling in my goddamn life, Blake!” I poked my finger into his rock hard pectorals. “What makes you think you can swoop in here and conveniently plant me in your downstairs apartment and think that’s totally fucking normal?”

  “For a Harvard girl, you’ve got quite the potty mouth.”

  “Cut the shit, Blake.”

  “Did you really want to live in one of those fleabag apartments?”

  “You are completely missing the point.”

  Exasperated, I turned into the apartment and slammed the door behind me. He followed me in, coming face to face with Brad, who looked surprised to say the least. Blake was leaner and generally less beefy, but he had some height on Brad. Blake’s wide-eyed gaze narrowed at the sight of him, and his hands fisted at his sides.

  “Uh, hey?” Brad looked uncomfortable.

  I grabbed my wallet from my purse and pulled out the fifty bucks I owed him. “Thanks so much, Brad. I think we’re good. Just throw the rest of the bags in the entryway, and I can bring them up.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” Blake and I said in unison.

  Somehow in the process of fighting with me over the privilege of hauling my bags into the apartment, Blake talked me into having dinner at his place upstairs. I was starving and emotionally wiped out, so I reluctantly agreed.

  We walked through the entryway and into an open room with a designer kitchen to the right and large sitting and dining areas to the left. The apartment, for the most part, was every bit what I would expect. Light and modern, the main room was filled with contemporary furnishings, cream microfiber couches, dark hard woods, and pops of ocean blue in the paintings and accents. I guessed someone else, likely a woman, had helped him decorate the space.

  What surprised me most, especially after getting a load of his high-tech Tesla, was the complete lack of visible electronics, but perhaps he was simply so high-tech they were camouflaged into the room somehow.

  “No gadgets and gizmos?” I asked.