Misadventures of a City Girl Read online

  I missed the feel of her against me. I didn’t think being apart, even for a few days, would be an issue until the silence set in sooner this time and I couldn’t take another minute without her.

  Her hands cradle my cheeks as she peppers my face with kisses. “I was about to drive back up because I missed you so much.” Her face has splotches of pink, and her eyes are swollen, but she smiles through her tears.

  “You’ve been crying.” Guilt floods me. I should’ve never let her come back here alone.

  “I already saw Susan.” Her head drops to my shoulder.

  I carry her inside and kick the door closed with my heel, not willing to separate our bodies for a second. “How is she?” I don’t take in the beauty of her home until I’m seated on the couch with her curled in my lap.

  “She’s as can be expected.”

  “How are you doing?” I glance down at her, trying not to get distracted by the amazing view outside the windows lining the back of her house. It’s almost as beautiful as mine on my mountaintop. For being smack in the middle of Hollywood, there’s more greenery than I expected, and it doesn’t feel claustrophobic either.

  “Awful,” she says. “But better now that you’re here.”

  Leaning back, I pull her with me, adjusting our position so we’re both more comfortable. My body’s already reacting to her nearness, her warmth, and the scent that’s hers alone. “I’m here for as long as you need me.”

  She stares up at me wide-eyed with a smile and more tears. “Do you mean that?”

  “I do,” I tell her, and I mean every word. “I’ll stay.”

  “I know this place isn’t for you.”

  “A month ago, I wouldn’t have said you were for me either.” Touching my lips to hers, I close my eyes and relish in the feel of her against me.

  She pulls away and laughs softly. “You’ve come a long way, Mr. Dawson.”

  “Only because of you, Ms. Atwood.”

  She settles against me and silence falls between us. But unlike when I’m alone, it’s not deafening. It’s comfortable and warm, just how everything with Madison always is. There will be a time to make love to her and a time to talk, but for right now, I just want to hold her.

  My eyelids feel heavy and I fight to stay awake, but she drifts off first. Sleep hasn’t been easy for me in years, but there’s something about Madison that chases away my demons and puts my mind at ease. She’s still in my lap, with her body slack against mine, as her soft snores pull me under too.

  Chapter Fifteen

  MADISON

  I wake up just before noon in my bed, exactly where Luke had moved me after we’d crashed on the couch hours earlier. I’m rested, but my body aches from crying. I cried for Susan yesterday, but so many other things crept in as I let my emotions take me under. I mourned the death of my relationship with Jeremy, realizing that while he didn’t have the same power to hurt me as he once did, coming to terms with the failure of us would probably occur in unexpected and painful waves.

  And I grieved over Luke’s absence, not quite knowing how we would work or if we could. I searched for answers, for the perfect scenario where we could keep being happy together, but the answers eluded me until he showed up at my door. Then I didn’t need to search. I just needed him to hold me. Perfection was a night in his arms, no matter what the future might hold.

  Yearning for his touch again, I roll over, but he’s not there. Instead, a handwritten note rests on the pillow beside me.

  Went for a drive. Be back soon. Love, Luke

  I rise and go to the kitchen, spurred by the hope that he might be back already. He’s an early riser, and I’d slept especially late. But the house is empty. I can sense its emptiness even before I check every room to be sure. I end my journey by the windows that look out to the valley. I may have loved that view more than I loved Jeremy toward the end. Being reunited with it gives me a sense of peace—peace that I had too little of when we’d shared this home.

  I don’t want to leave here, but I want Luke in my life too. I know he could never leave his quiet life for mine. I can’t imagine how difficult the trip here must have been, yet he made it.

  Tears burn behind my eyes again. Goddamn, I’m like a faucet that won’t turn off.

  Refusing to succumb to my emotions for another day, I force myself to clean up. I shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast. With nothing else to do, I go around the house, room by room, tidying and purging things that I no longer need. When I get to the living room, I notice the wedding picture is face down. Luke must have seen it. I cringe a little and take that as a sign. That particular memory belongs in the past, not on the mantle. I take it and put it into a box as the front door creaks open.

  I recognize Luke’s footsteps. Heavy and sure. My breath catches when he comes into view. He may not want to be here, but he owns the room everywhere he goes. Something’s different about him though.

  I light up with a smile when I place it. “You shaved!”

  His lips quirk up a little. “Just this once. Don’t get used to it.”

  I laugh and go to him. Finding that warm perfect place in his arms again, I breathe him in and sigh. “I missed you. Where were you?”

  He gestures back to the entryway where several bags are sitting. “I got a few things so I could take you out tonight.”

  I pull back and give him a wide-eyed look. “Take me out?”

  “I figured while I’m here I could take you out. Like on a real date or something. The lady at the hair salon suggested a few places that you might like.”

  “The salon?”

  I can’t hide my shock, and Luke laughs and smiles. I hadn’t expected to see him so at ease here. I certainly hadn’t expected him to venture into the city that sometimes I didn’t even want to face.

  Taking a closer look, I realize his hair looks different too. Still past his shoulders, but it looks healthier and is neatly trimmed at the ends. I’d been dying to take my conditioner to it for weeks, so I celebrate a small victory seeing these milestones met without me nagging.

  “You did all this for me?”

  He’s silent a moment and leans in to touch his lips to mine. “Something like that,” he says. His lips are warm and his skin is so smooth.

  I revel in the new sensation as we kiss, but before I can get carried away, he takes a step back. “I want to do this right.” He glances down at his watch. “We have a reservation at five thirty. With it being last minute, it was the only time I could get. Can you be ready in an hour?”

  “Definitely. Where are we going?”

  He smirks and turns away from me to go down the hall toward the bags. “It’s a surprise. Go get ready.”

  LUKE

  An hour later, I’m pacing the living room checking my watch. Madison takes for goddamn ever to get ready. Even with weeding through some new clothes and convincing myself to give up my boots tonight for some nice Italian leather shoes, I was ready in half the time. I hope she likes what she sees, because I feel like an imposter. I miss my cotton T-shirts already. Still, I managed to find quality clothes that are comfortable.

  I hear the click of high heels on the wood floors and turn. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

  I can see now how the natural beauty I fell in love with could easily pass for a celebrity on the arm of her ex. She’s stunning in a shimmering red wrap dress that falls just past her knees. Her heels are shiny black with red soles and make her legs look a mile long. For the first time since I met her, she’s wearing her hair up, though small tendrils are hanging loose around her face.

  Her face. That’s what really has my heart stopping. Her gaze is intense on me, her expression more serious than I want on a night like tonight.

  “What’s wrong, Maddy?”

  She looks me over and blinks several times. “We can’t leave the house.”

  “Why? Is everything okay?”

  She exhales loudly and puts a hand on her hip. “Number one, women are going to be crawling all o
ver you. Number two, it’s suddenly become way more important for you to fuck me than for us to have dinner.”

  I laugh and go to her. “Knock it off.”

  She puts a hand on my chest when I go to hold her and she stares up at me. “I’m completely serious. You’re totally irresistible right now. Who are you and where are you hiding my rugged mountain man?”

  I warm at her compliment. It makes the hassle and stress of getting to this point all worth it. “He’s not going anywhere, I promise. You can hold out this once. And no one’s going to be crawling all over me when I’ve got you on my arm.” I touch the tip of her nose because I’m afraid to screw up her makeup. “You look really pretty. Different, but pretty.”

  She blushes a little. “I am a makeup artist, you know.”

  “I know, but you don’t need all this to be beautiful to me.”

  She smiles and cocks her head. “It’s fun though. I’m grounded enough to know that clothes and lipstick and pretty shoes don’t make me beautiful.” Her smile fades a bit. “Does it bother you?”

  “No. This is you. We’re in your home, your town. We’re doing things the way Madison would tonight. And for the record, you’re stunning.”

  So stunning that I’m having a hard time keeping my hands off of her. We’re already late so I usher her out the door and drive us to the restaurant in her car, letting her navigate the whole way. The sun is setting and the music in the car is playing low. People are driving like assholes, but having Madison with me is like having armor going into battle. I once told her that I loved the way she wanted to protect me, even if I didn’t need it. But I’m wondering now if I was lying to myself, and to her. Maybe if I never left my cabin I wouldn’t need protecting. But being part of the bigger world, being here with her, I’m not sure if I could do it alone. At least not right away. Could I ever get used to this life?

  A short while later, we’re seated at a table for two at Culina. The patio and fresh air are especially nice. Gas heaters provide warmth and ambience. But we’re far from alone, and seeing other people gawk at her already has me a little agitated. It’s more evidence of why I can’t let her go, not now, not ever.

  Madison is radiant, unaware of just how entranced I am by her. A certain kind of energy rolls off her. I can’t place it, but it’s infectious.

  “You look happy,” I finally say.

  She looks up from her menu with a smile. Her lips are full and red, and I want to taste them so badly.

  “I am. This is perfect. It’s been so long since I had a night out like this. You have no idea how nice this feels.”

  The waiter comes, interrupting our moment. I try not to be annoyed, because Madison is happy and I don’t want anything to spoil that. She orders a martini and I order a beer because I don’t know what the hell else to do. I close my menu and figure she should order for me too. I’m undeniably out of my element. Food is food.

  We get our drinks, and when the waiter leaves us alone again, Madison leans back into her seat and brings the translucent red liquid to her lips. It’s definitely more erotic than watching her drink coffee. I’m struggling to rationalize why we ever left the house now. Maybe she’d been right. I’m about to suggest we order to go when she sets her drink down and speaks up.

  “So tell me, what’s all this about? As happy as this makes me, I know it can’t be especially comfortable for you.”

  I nod and worry the inside of my lip. There are so many things I want to tell her. Things that could upset her. Things that could give us a future. I’m not good at this, but I have to try.

  “I realized something this morning while you were sleeping.”

  “What was that?”

  “I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, so I poked around the house a little. Sorry, but I’m kind of useless here. Probably how you feel at the cabin. No purpose. I get it. So I took it all in. The expensive house. The view. All your nice things. I saw pictures of you and him, and it hit me that you bought that place together and you’ve made a ton of memories there with him.”

  I tighten my jaw and her eyebrows come together.

  “No, Luke. You can’t think that way. It’s my house now. I fought for it—”

  I wave a hand to try to stop her. “Just hear me out, okay? I understand it’s your home, and he’s in the past. But for a few minutes there, I freaked out. I told myself I was stupid for coming. I was even more stupid for ever believing that we could find a way to be together.”

  Silence stretches between us, and she stares down at her lap. “I’ve had those same thoughts.”

  I nod, because I don’t blame her one bit. We’re in a difficult situation and the answers aren’t always clear or easy.

  “I was going to get my things and get out of your life for good, because clearly I have no place here. But then something hit me. Like a brick to the face. I thought about how uncomfortable I was in that moment, and I thought about how all that would go away when I was back home. Then…I realized that the place where I was comfortable wasn’t really comfortable anymore when you weren’t there. That’s what got me out here to begin with. Something’s changed. I’ve changed, and now I can’t go back. I’m stuck in this middle ground with you, which is where we said we wanted to be. It’s scary as hell, but you’re home for me now.”

  Tears glimmer in her eyes, and I’m worried I’ve ruined everything.

  “I feel the same way, Luke. I want to be with you. I can’t express to you how much. But you…this…” She gestures between us. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to change for me. I’ll love you anyway.”

  “I know that. And I realize you took a chance on me. I don’t know how many days you spent in my shitty little cabin without any of the comforts you were used to. But I figured, as long as I’m here, I can try to fit into your world more. I can’t make any promises, but I’m trying. It’s not all bad.”

  A smile tugs at her lips. “No?”

  I take sip of my beer and sit back. “No. I’m going to make a mess of you later, but for right now, the view is damn fine from where I’m sitting.”

  A flush works its way to her cheeks, and I take that opportunity to look her over for the hundredth time. Her nipples are poking through the red fabric now, and it takes all my willpower not to reach across the table and mold my palms around the perfect curves of them. It’s been forty-eight hours since we’ve had sex, and I’m ready to lose my mind. The hunger I have for her just won’t wane.

  The food arrives, and for the moment I’m grateful for the break in conversation, not to mention the sexual tension. My first confession went over pretty well. But there’s more I have to tell her, and I’m scared to death she won’t go for it.

  My courage deserts me until we head back to her house. I can tell the martinis are making her frisky, because her hands keep straying to my groin. I catch them and kiss her fingertips, fully aware of how hard I’m getting and how she’s effectively distracting me from the things I need to say.

  The second I park, she leans over, and we’re engulfed in a hungry kiss. I’m falling into the raging desire I feel for her—the desire to fuck and love and show her without words everything she means to me.

  I place my palms on her cheeks and pull away enough to catch my breath. “I have to tell you something.”

  “What is it?”

  I lean back in my seat and stare out the windshield. LA is a mass of city lights. In silence, I can see the allure. The glitz and the glamour is something else. I can only hope I mean more to her than this city does. I inhale a deep breath and begin.

  “To anyone on the outside, it probably looks like I don’t have much of anything. But the cabin isn’t all I have.”

  She threads her fingers into mine. “I know. I Googled you.”

  I frown and look over to her. “You did?”

  “After you kicked me out, I needed to know more about the mystery man who’d given me the best sex of my life.”

  “And…”

  She
shrugs. “And I saw your old Facebook account. I saw that you owned the land that the Avalon is on.”

  “I inherited it, but I own a lot more than that. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  She leans her head against the seat and waits. She’s so beautiful…so perfect. I look forward again, admiring the home that doesn’t feel like it belongs here.

  “I know you love this house,” I say quietly.

  “I love you more,” she whispers.

  I close my eyes, because I feel like my heart is going to beat straight out of my chest. Her admission gives me the courage to say more.

  “Ever since I joined the military, I put everything I earned into buying land that I might want to live on or invest in later. I own several acres about an hour and a half north of here. It’s a lot closer than Avalon, but it’s nothing like the city.”

  I brave a look in her direction. She’s chewing on her lower lip.

  “What are you suggesting?”

  I swallow hard and hold her gaze. “I’ll move there. We could move there. I could build us a house you deserve. You’d be close enough to the city to work when you need to, and I won’t have to deal with car horns and crowds all the time.”

  “What about this place?” She gestures to the perfectly good home she now owns.

  “We’ll stay here in the meantime. I’ll make it work. Kills me to say it, but it’ll probably be good for me. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

  Her breathing picks up, and I’m panicking on the inside.

  “Madison, it’s a beautiful spot. Right by a lake, mountain views. Trees everywhere. No neighbors in sight. I could be happy there, but only if you’re with me. I need you with me.”

  She’s quiet a long moment. I’m not sure what more I can say, how much more soul I can bare…

  “Good God, say something.”

  She releases her lip. “Electricity?”

  “Of course.”

  “Running water?”

  I smile a little and the panic starts to ebb away. “Anything the city girl wants, except the city.”